creamy parmesan farfalle with portabellas and prosciutto

5:40am. Barely wake up to alarm, both sounds and vibrations. Google Map the distance to the airport while peeing. Line one eye. Drink espresso before it reaches human temperature. Debate death. Hail cab via cell phone. Google Map distance to airport again because you know it's going to be 30 minutes longer now that you've crossed into rush hour. Spend first twenty minutes of drive panicking. Spend second twenty minutes of drive nauseated. Spend third twenty minutes of drive asleep against the window. Crash into head rest upon hard stop at the Southwest terminal. Get delayed 45 minutes you could've been sleeping.

Every week. Every single week. Usually Thursday, but this time a Wednesday, so now my internal clock is all wrong.

Airport hash browns are a comfort afforded to me only when I've just gone through this, but they are a gateway drug to worse and worse choices. This last time, feeling particularly adventurous, I decided to try my first McDonald's sausage biscuit since childhood. The company pays.  The floodgates have opened. Danger ahead. 

Later, in the Saint Louis airport, I don't eat anything. I fly home. Dehydration tricks the brain, supposedly, into misassessing its current resources, skipping out on basic functions (or overindulging in others). Mania does the same thing, however, and so as I'm hit with the inspiration to write a short story on an airplane at 6pm, I know it's a guarantee I will forget to eat dinner.

Dairy fats are beautiful.



Effortful time: 10 minutes 
Total time: 20 minutes 
Serves: 2


  • 1/3 box farfalle pasta

  • 1/3 cup half and half (I don't do heavy cream; this is as hard as I can go)

  • 1 tbsp. salted butter

  • 1 tsp. olive oil

  • 12 oz. chopped portabella mushrooms

  • 4 oz. pack cubed prosciutto

  • 1 clove garlic, roughly chopped

  • 1/2 cup parmesan, grated

  • Many shakes of parsley

  • Black pepper

  • Random salt


  1. Cook the farfalle to al dente and drain. You don't need to save the water for once! Leave this in the colander.
  2. In the same pot, add the olive oil, prosciutto, and garlic. Brown this mixture for a minute or two, then add the portabellas.
  3. Hit the mix with the 1 tbsp. of butter and stir it in. Salt, pepper, and parsley it. 
  4. When the mushrooms are browned, turn the heat down to negligible and add the half-and-half. Let this thicken for a moment before adding the grated Parmesan. 
  5. Dump the drained farfalle into the sauce-shroom mix.
  6. Stir some more and dine in style.
  7. Yes, that serving dish is supposed to be a casserole.