Get on a flight on tuesday, for a meeting the next day. 50 minutes in, we're still on the ground and the air conditioner is dead. It is 95 degrees out. Woman decides now is an optimal time to take out a chicken sandwich from before she boarded, eat it, and share some with her 90 year old disabled grandmother who cannot chew food.
Finally land, proceed to work until 4am. Run into competition in the hotel lobby. Wake up at 7:30am. Have to present the HARDEST MATERIAL OF MY LIFE. we ace presentation so that was cool.
Try to get on return flight. Delayed one hour each time for four hours. Board plane once and are forced to get off. Debate driving home. At 9:30pm, we finally board four hours late. Then we get diverted in the air and land in f*cking MADISON WISCONSIN. Seated next to bathroom. Guy shits himself inside of bathroom so badly that flight attendants forced to close it. Before he does this, however, he farts on our seats.
This was day 17 of work straight. No weekends. 14 hour days. Had not eaten since 1pm. At midnight I broke down in hysterical laughter-tears because I couldn't deal with the shitting man.
At 4am, a limo driver named Larry is supposed to take me home in a van. He is playing a trick on me and says I've got the wrong driver. Nearly cried in the pickup lane. When I got home I ate 3 taquitos in bed, the first food I'd had in almost a day. Then I slept for 14 hours.
It's time for real life again.
There is absolutely nothing else enlightening to say here. I have a grill, so I put two of the Trader Joe's individually wrapped chicken breasts on it (I specify these because for some reason they're the right size and don't have 'rib meat' which I hate), cooked pasta, added spinach, tossed garlic, threw on a heap of asiago, and poured a huge fucking glass of shiraz.
And then after that I did nothing.
Effortful time: 10 minutes
Total time: 30 minutes
1/3 package whole grain spaghetti
1 whole package of baby spinach
2 small chicken breasts
Olive oil spray
2 tbsp. garlic olive oil (or 2 cloves garlic, minced, with 2 tbsp. olive oil)
1/3 cup shredded asiago cheese
Salt and pepper
1 lemon, zested and squeezed
- Spray-oil your grill grates. Heat up the grill to just under 400°.
- Prep the chicken by spritzing quickly with olive oil. Salt and pepper; flip it over and do it again.
- Cook the pasta to just under al-dente. It needs to absorb more liquid in the lightning round.
- When the pasta's nearly done, go throw the chickens on the grill. These need 5 minutes per side if you like them done as hell, which I do, because I have less than zero interest in contracting salmonella this summer.
- Back to the pasta. Save a cup of water, drain, and let sit for a minute while you deal with the rest. Pull the chickens off and rest them on a cutting board. DO NOT SLICE RIGHT NOW THEY ARE JUICING.
- Add whatever your garlic/olive oil configuration is to the now-empty pot. Throw in the spinach and toss for a second. Pour the hot pasta back over and throw around with tongs until the spinach is beginning to wilt.
- Zest a lemon into the pasta mix and squeeze in the juice. You can salt and pepper this some more if you like. I do like.
- Twirl some spaghetti on a plate and top with sliced chicken breasts. Heap on the asiago.
- Restore yourself. Restore your life. Pair with a LIGHT CRISP SAUVIGNON BLANC and A SQUARE OF DARK CHOCOLATE FOR HEART HEALTH and you will forget all about your reliance on airport hash browns.
- Until next week.