basic mac and cheese (evaporated milk)

I have an entire collection of mac and cheese recipes. Which one I pick depends on which one I need. Didn’t eat enough vegetables this week? Cauliflower mac. People coming over? Traditional baked mac. Feeling fancy by yourself on a Friday? Truffle gruyere mac. Lazy af? Boxed mac. It’s fine. This is a no judge zone.

But then there are the Other Needs. Didn’t go grocery shopping when you had the chance and now paying the hard price as you stare down a fridge full of old half-used bags of cheese and no dairy? Came home from a weeklong business trip at 8pm to find out your favorite pho delivery place ran out of soup for the day? Hosted a Christmas party and need to kick people out of your house but want to give them a snack they can carry home in a solo cup? This is your mac!

The latest use case for this mac: I committed to a reprisal of my mac and cheese contribution from last year’s office Thanksgiving, which originally gained infamy after being made in an Instant Pot at my desk, not realizing the ramifications of having to execute it entirely on Zoom lit with only the glow of my SAD lamp. Guess what? It works on Zoom too. I am the Ina Garten of janky videoconference cooking. Cool.

The mac base is four total ingredients: pasta, cheese, salt, and a can of unsweetened evaporated milk. Seasonings are flexible. It sounds disgusting. It sounds like it won’t work. But it isn’t, and it does. Try it, and you’ll see. The hero you need is sometimes not the hero you expect.

Some ways to make it your own:

1. Make it in an Instant Pot: 4 cups water, 4 minutes on high pressure

2. Load it: green onions + cooked bacon + hot sauce + chopped chiles at the end

3. Buffalo it: ranch powder + Franks or Crystal along with the cheese

4. Bake it: in an oven safe pan (which I always use), top with buttered breadcrumbs and parsley, broil on low for 3-5 min until crispy

5. Make it fancy: use Gruyere cheese, top with truffle salt or truffle essence + parm

hi

RECIPE

The secret to easy, cheesy stovetop mac and cheese is canned evaporated milk. Easily scales for a crowd. Hope you’ve got a big pot.

Effortful time: 10 minutes

Total time: 20 minutes

Serves: 4-6

YOU NEED

• 16 oz. pasta; here I’m using trottole or what is sometimes called vesuvio

• 12 oz. can evaporated milk, unsweetened

• 3 cups shredded cheddar cheese, any blend: I often use 50/50 sharp cheddar to cheddar jack

• 1 tsp. paprika

• Salt and black pepper, to taste

MAKE IT

1. Cook pasta. Use just enough salted water to cover it. This should soak in almost completely to the pasta.

2. Stir often, like it’s risotto. You’ll know your close when only a bare minimum of water remains.

3. Transform the pasta into mac. Add evaporated milk, paprika, pepper, and salt to the pasta. Heat until the evaporated milk boils and begins to thicken.

4. Add cheese. Stir well.

5. Get stupid.

6. Night night.