baby kale bacon caesar
Besides maybe the steak, nothing thrills me more in a Steakhouse Experience than when the server shows up with the wheely cart and proceeds to make a Caesar right in front of my face, just for me. It is a strangely intimate, visceral act to assemble a Caesar; I enter hypnosis as they throw things around in that big wood bowl. But I snap out of this thrall the second I have to actually make a Caesar myself. Once I have to get real and play with raw eggs and deal with little fishy boys and actually cut up a head of romaine, the magic is instantly lost. But avoidance can breed ingenuity, and so I’d like to introduce you to a Caesar even I can handle.
Invented in Tijuana Mexico and named not for the Emperor but its chef, Caesar Cardini, this rendition of a Caesar is bold, fiesty, a little bit spicy, and 100% make-able in the 45 minute window between the final morning meeting and the first afternoon meeting. It’s heavily modified to the point where it barely qualifies as a Caesar, but who’s judging? I don’t personally love to work with raw eggs at home, but fortunately the internet’s beloved Kewpie mayo can produce almost the same effect; being a yolk-based mayo, it has a thicker texture that better replicates emulsified egg, and a milder, less-tangy flavor that Caesar-ifies without a fight. Refrigerator-friendly anchovy paste eliminates the need to open a tin of anchovies to use only one. Rather than rely on carbs for crunch, here I’ve used a few slices of bacon, rendered to a crisp in their own fat—self reliant!—but if you don’t do pork you could also top this with grilled chicken or salmon. And finally, because I feel like romaine is a cursed green, I’ve switched it for baby kale, one of my favorite greens I’m often challenged to find a meaningful purpose for due to its assertiveness. But destiny called, and look who answered!
recipe
Baby kale, bacon, cherry tomatoes, and a 30-second Caesar dressing join forces for a lunchtime (or anytime) salad with minimal effort and lots of personality.
Makes 2 large entree salads or 4 medium side salads
you need
For the dressing
2 tbsp. mayo—I love Kewpie for this, it is a lot less mayo-y and more like egg yolks
2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
2 tsp. dijon mustard
1/4 tsp. anchovy paste
A few drops of hot sauce, optional but recommended
Juice of 1/2 a lemon
Freshly cracked black pepper
Tiny pinch of salt
1 tsp. cold water
For the salad
5 oz. baby kale
4 slices thick-cut bacon, cut into 1/2” thick strips
1/2 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
1/2 cup shaved parmesan cheese
Freshly cracked black pepper
make it
Prepare the bacon. Slice 4 pieces of uncooked bacon into 1/2” thick strips. You can do this with a knife, or just use kitchen shears. Heat a skillet over medium heat and drop in the bacon pieces. Slowly render its fat (we’re using this instead of oil) and then turn up the heat to medium. Cook until crisp, about 10-12 minutes depending on the level of doneness you prefer. When this is done, use a slotted spoon to scoop it from the fat and put it onto a paper-towel lined plate.
Make the dressing. While the bacon is cooking, whisk together all the dressing ingredients into a bowl or a cup, adding the water at the end and continuing to whisk until evenly combined—if you like a really thick caesar, you may find you don’t want to thin it out at all, but I like a lighter dressing with more slip. Set this aside.
Create the salad. Slice the cherry tomatoes across their equator, and add them to a large bowl along with the baby kale. Dress the greens, then throw in the cooked bacon, 1/2 cup of parm, and shower with black pepper. Give everything a nice toss with tongs, scoop onto plates, and serve with more optional cheese on the side.