whipped cauliflower: an enlightening template
I’m very, very late to the cauli substitution party for a dumb reason: breaking down cauliflower is a pain in the ass, spraying little crumbly floret-lets off the cutting board and all over the counter, where inevitably I find myself later picking them out of my cat’s beard. I also don’t particularly see the appeal in dirtying up multiple pots plus a food processor just to make a side dish that’s pretending to be something it’s not.
Three discoveries changed everything for me: bagged pre-riced cauliflower, an immersion blender, and Majestic Garlic spread. I also realized the heroic power of the microwave, a device I use exclusively for this and bagged Kirkland popcorn. Now we eat whipped cauliflower twice a week, often more. How did I get to this enlightened place after all the time I have wasted?
The answer: aggressive simplification. Rather than breaking down florets, boiling/steaming, transferring to a blender, and pureeing, here you simply dump the pre-riced blend into a bowl, nuke it, and whip right in the same vessel with a stick blender. The quantities are linear; I’ve doubled this and even tripled it using progressively bigger bowls. The goal is to get it SILKY, not gritty, and that requires two things: overcooking it, and really blending the hell out of it. One thing that really helps: a super powerful stick blender, like the Vitamix, which turns the puree into luxurious creamy velvet in under a minute. But I did it for years with 1/3 the power, and pulled it off just fine. It just takes longer and requires a little more manipulation.
Over time, I’ve also realized different add-ins also make for different experiences, and can now prescribe the correct cauliflower for pretty much any dish.
Some ideas:
Italian style, with garlic and parm and a little grassy olive oil, is a great substitute for polenta like you’d have with braised short ribs, wine-y lamb ragu, or Italian pot roast.
French style for me replace potatoes; it uses only garlic and is probably the one I make most often. It goes as well with French dishes—coq au vin, coq au riesling, beef bourguignon—as it does savory herb-roasted turkey breast and pork tenderloin.
Goat cheese is French plus, you guessed it, an ounce of goat cheese. I save this one for special occasions.
Scandinavian style is my go-to for Swedish meatballs, stroganoff, and other savory, meaty dishes with gravy that typically call for potatoes or egg noodles. It’s similar to French, but with Greek yogurt for tang that makes it more cold-climate flavored. I’m not sure why.
Mediterranean style with tahini is what I make with my Greek braised lamb, grilled za’atar boneless chicken thighs, and anything else where a lighter, nuttier whip is the vibe.
Truffle parm is nearly identical to Italian style, but with a different flavor profile. I use this one almost exclusively for steaks, as the truffle-y shroominess complements grilled or seared meats extremely well.
I actually like this whip better than if it were a potato. It’s lighter, silkier, and more flavorful. It’s also something everyone of every skill level can pull off on an average night with medium to low energy. And most significantly, it’s a way to get the satisfaction of a starch while eating a vegetable, one that doesn’t remind you with every bite that it is a vegetable pretending to be a starch. Once you try it, there is no turning back. See ya in the promised land!
RECIPE
The easiest, silkiest, creamiest, most-versatile low-carb whipped cauliflower puree is—yes, really—made in the microwave.
YOU NEED
Basic template
12 oz riced fresh or frozen cauliflower
2 tbsp. heavy cream, divided
1 tbsp. butter
1/2 tsp. salt
Italian style
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
2 tbsp. Majestic Garlic raw garlic spread or similar
1 tsp. very good olive oil
Scandinavian style
1 oz. goat cheese
1/4 cup full-fat greek yogurt
French style
2 tbsp. Majestic Garlic
Optional: 1 oz goat cheese
Mediterranean style
2 tbsp. tahini
2 tbsp. Majestic Garlic
Additional 1 tbsp cream
Truffle parm
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1 tbsp. Majestic Garlic
1 tbsp. Sabatino truffle zest
MAKE IT
Assemble the ingredients. Put the “base” ingredients in a high-sided, microwave safe bowl.
Cook it, round one. Microwave for 6 minutes on high. Remove and stir well. The bowl will be hot!
Cook it, round two. Microwave for 4 more minutes (fresh) or 6 more minutes (frozen) on high. Be careful, it’ll be nuclear hot by the end of this. The cauliflower should be VERY soft, almost falling apart when you stir it.
Blend the cauliflower. Add the add-in ingredients of your choice. BLEND blend blend until it forms a silky, delightful whip.
Season your mash. Stir in black pepper and any needed additional salt, and serve.