adult spaghettios
You might be able to tell from the dwindling number of blog entries that I have been a little busy. Rarely, however, being mid-grind unlocks the improvisational magic of a Really Stupid Recipe, equal parts “what?” and WHAT!—a totally dumb thing to make that you also want to make again immediately after you finish the leftovers. That is the origin story of Adult Spaghettios.
Clearly invented by someone who has never actually had regular spaghettios, Adult Spaghettios are an artistic re-rendering of my imagination of what is actually in the can, only tailored the way my adult self likes to eat: sugarless, well-seasoned, greens-heavy, with a lot of cheese. But rather than just taking my word for it, you can also customize it for yourself. A few notes:
In Really Stupid Tradition, the “secret” here is to shortchange all the steps involved in meatball creation and instead just roll bits of bulk sausage into mini ball shapes, then fry them to create the base. Because sausage has a high fat content and is fairly sticky, and because we are rolling very smol balls, they will stay together without a binder.
How much broth you add depends on your desired spaghettio eating experience. I imagined them to be sludgy, with puddly thick broth, which will be 4 cups of liquid. If you go up to 6, it turns into more of a tomato soup base. I’ve recommended 4 here as a starting point, but adjust however you need.
You can use chicken broth or vegetable broth; I just use hot water, and then stir in a little Better than Bouillon base. Easy.
The ring shape pasta is called anellini, or little rings, and they can be a little hard to find. I got 2 packets on Amazon, and now I wish I had more. If you are unmarried to the O part of the spaghettio concept, you can just as easily use another small shape—ditalini, stellini, acini de pepe, whatever—and adjust the cook time accordingly.
The kale is totally optional: you can sub it with another green, or you can leave it out if you don’t think greens belong in spaghettios. It’s all the same to me. However, this recipe is written to braise the kale gently so that it’s ultra-soft. If you decide to use a quick-cooking green, like spinach, add it at the end instead of before the broth.
recipe
An artistic and microwave-free re-rendering of spaghettios by an adult who has clearly never had them.
Effortful time: 25 minutes
Total time: 45 minutes
Makes 4 good-sized bowls
you need
.75 lb mild Italian sausage, bulk or removed from casing
2 tbsp. olive oil
4 cloves minced garlic
4 tbsp tomato paste
8 oz, or about 2 cups, of anellini pasta (or another comparable small shape)
4 cups broth to start; keep extra water handy
2 cups ribboned kale (or sub another chopped green)
1/3 cup grated cheese
Chili flakes, a few twirls of black pepper, and more cheese for serving
make it
Make the balls. Tear off tiny pinches of the sausage and roll between your palms to form compact little balls. Put these on a plate or board while you work. Be careful not to make them too big; because these balls don’t have binder, they need to stay small to stay together.
Sear the balls. Heat a medium Dutch oven (3-4 qt) over medium heat. When hot, add olive oil, and then dump in all your sausage balls—they will kind of stick to each other at first, but this is okay. Brown these well and then start shaking them around in the pan to separate.
While the sausage cooks, do the rest of the prep. Mince 4 garlic cloves; wash and shred your greens. Remove the tough stems first.
Build the base. Once the sausage is browned and you have all the other ingredients ready, add the garlic. Sauté until fragrant but not brown, approximately 30 seconds. Add the tomato paste and smoosh into the oil to start to caramelize. Then fold in the ribboned kale, stirring it so that it wilts—about 2 minutes. Once you’ve got a nice robust base, add 2 cups of anellini and the broth.
Simmer the spaghettios uncovered over medium-low heat about 15 minutes or until the broth is loose but sludgy (thanks to the pasta starch) and the noodles themselves are softer than al dente. At first it will seem extremely soupy, and tighten over time as the pasta cooks. If yours at any point look dry, stir in some more broth.
Finish and serve. Stir in 1/3 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese and stir around to thicken up the broth. Take off the heat immediately and ladle into bowls. Serve with more cheese, some black pepper, or some chili flakes if you’re a spicy adult. Use a few extra splashes of broth to reheat.