deconstructed cabbage roll soup
You come back from a weekend trip on a Monday instead of a Sunday. You think this is no big deal until you realize your good time on the weekend left you unprepared for the week and now there is no turning back. Your boyfriend decided to Be Helpful by defrosting ground beef for you both for lunch. Only there is no intention for this ground beef, no strategy. It is simply There. You realize are out of even apocalypse staples, and not even one lone can of reject beans remains. But there is a light in the dark. It may be hope, or a fast approaching train. Who’s to say? But it is neither. It is emergency cabbage. He has been there in the drawer for weeks, patiently waiting for his turn. That turn has come. You both see the way out. This is like Chopped, only you will not be using the ice cream machine.
If you only look at the obvious positive space a shape fills, you will see the shape of a meat brick and a cabbage head. You will not see a dish, or the future. But if you can retrain your eye to see the negative space that surrounds it, other images will become clear. You will see in the abstract ether the form of a highly unusual soup. This is how you win Fake Chopped.
It is not beautiful, but it is a winner. Isn’t that often the truth? It is ground beef browned with dried onion, because you do not have real onions, followed by a slow braise in a tomato paste and chicken stock base along with an entire head of humble green cabbage ready to achieve its potential. Orzo joins at the end to add necessary substance. It is also the first thing you see on your pasta pantry shelf, but why it was included is less important than the fact that it is absolutely worth including.
Maybe it’s Florentine. Maybe it’s Eastern European. Maybe you’re born with it. Maybe you’re desperate. Does any of it matter? This soup is proof that it does not. Nothing matters. But also, Nothing CAN matter. It can matter a lot. Because you are a Chopped genius bordering on alchemical god, able to turn nothing into something just by changing the way you look at nothing. You are unstoppable if you don’t allow yourself to be stopped.
And if that fails, there’s always Arby’s.
don’t think about curly fries
recipe
An extremely simple pantry-ingredient stew inspired by traditional Eastern European cabbage rolls, with tender braised cabbage and orzo in a savory tomato broth.
Effortful time: 5 minutes
Total time: 45 minutes
Makes 4 large bowls
you need
1 lb. ground beef, the leaner the better (preferably 90/10; see note if using 80/20)
1 tsp. olive oil
1/2 tsp. onion powder
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
2 tbsp. double-concentrated tomato paste (the kind in the tube; double this if using the can)
1-1.5 lb head green cabbage; cut in half if using a larger one
6 cups low-sodium chicken broth; I used Better than Bouillon
1 tsp. salt
Fresh ground pepper
1/2 cup dry orzo (or cooked rice), optional
make it
Brown the meat. Heat the olive oil in a medium (at least 4 qt) Dutch oven over medium-high heat. When hot, add the ground beef and brown, breaking up with a spoon as you go.
Prep the cabbage. While this is browning, peel the outside leaves off your cabbage, then cut out the core and discard. Roughly chop the cabbage; I do this by creating 4 wedges and cutting down the length of the wedge.
Sauté your aromatics. When the beef is browned*, add the onion and garlic powder and stir until you can smell their allium perfume in the pot. Add the tomato paste and mush it up into the meat to begin to caramelize it.
Fold in the cabbage. Once this is all combined, add all the cabbage and fold together so that it’s at the bottom of the pot. The heat from the cooked beef and the warm pan will begin to wilt the cabbage immediately.
Add stock and simmer. Pour in your stock and season with salt and pepper. Partially cover and turn the heat down very low. Let this simmer 40 minutes.
Add the orzo. At 40 minutes, add the orzo (or rice). Let this cook according to the orzo’s directions. (With rice, just simmer it for 5-6 minutes to let it absorb the flavors.)
Serve it up. Ladle into bowls and serve with fresh pepper cracked on top.
*Note: if using 80/20 beef, you may want to pour off some of the excess fat at this step.